Things Michelle would hate …

Michelle is one of my sisters-in-law.  We both married a Rennie boy, but I think it’s safe to say the things we have in common stop about there, oh, and we both love cake.  When me and Blokey go away we often comment on how much Michelle would hate: where we’re staying, eating, walking, visiting … the list goes on. Michelle likes 4 star with air conditioning, we’ll be wild camping a lot of the time.  Michelle likes first class or business class travel, we’ll be mostly walking.  Michelle is quite a particular eater, she knows what she likes and likes it her way; we’ll be eating what’s on offer and won’t kill us.  So this is a collection of things that Michelle would hate if she was with us …

Michelle and Fred

So I thought this would be an add moments or places type of thing, but as it happens I’m pretty sure Michelle would have hated almost all of it since we stepped on the plane. Do I’m not really sure where to start but I’ll have s go:

  1. No air conditioning
  2. No choice with the food
  3. digging the poo hole and using it
  4. A flight with badly behaved kids
  5. No baths
  6. Sleeping in a tent
  7. Limited personal space
  8. Limited technology access
  9. No up-grade options
  10. You can only get there by walking, getting in a car won’t help

There may be others and I’m sure Michelle will let me know when I get back if she agrees!

There are two particular experiences that I think Michelle and my twin sister Sam would have hated:

1) When we did the St Paul Trail we had to cross the lake. The book told us that the local fisherman would take us across. We arrived at his house, hot and sweaty and having just completed the most frustrating section of the trail with shit markers and shit directions. Mustafa, the fisherman was happy to take us across, but he was just about to go fishing, so we would have to wait until the next morning. In the meantime, we could have a shower and his wife would cook us dinner, all for the princely sum of £40. The shower was a wet room and the water supply was currently hooked up to the washing machine. The room was also where Mustafa cleaned his fish and the dangling electrics were like something out of a house of horrors. Dinner was a fish, complete with bones, head and eyes, a particular favourite of Blokey and me. The bed was in a spare room on separate sofas and dislodged her eldest son from his room. On top of which we had to socialize with the non English speaking Mustafa while watching Turkish television. In the morning we were given breakfast in the living room on the floor while the family ate theirs in the corridor and we were served an egg that was so rancid it was black and slimey and made you feel sick just to smell it. Blokey worked with lightening speed to get a bag to put the eggs in so that we could take them with us and get rid of at a convenient time. Not our most relaxing evening and certainly not The Hilton. And to top it off, there was no bog roll!

2) our 2 nights at the mountain refuge in Greece – Blokey was really looking forward to pur couple of nights at 1600 metres at the refuge, exploring the high peaks and returning to the refuge for beer and good, wholesome food. He’s stayed at refuges before, so I was looking forward to it too. The climb was 3 hours of up with full packs in pretty exposed conditions, knackering but very possible. Arrival was beer and a bowl of home cooked lentil soup before exploring Dragon Lake. All good so far. But the guy who ran the refuge didn’t crack a smile or give a hint of a warm welcome. Instead he listed his rules: no shoes inside, food 9 am – 8:30pm (last orders), no blankets upstairs, replace the benches so that the day trippers can’t use the facilities, stay in the bed he assigns you and the water is safe to drink. I think we were told off about 4 times during our 2 night stay. We were in a bunk room with one other couple the first night and four other people the next night, but the highlight was that there wad no hot water and it was proper cold that high up. The second night we committed the cardinal sin of moving to an empty room to give the others respite from Blokey’s snoring only to be awoken by the refuge guy telling us we shouldn’t have moved and accompanied by a group of about 10 Greek walkers, arriving at 11pm and up at 6.30 am. What a bummer. We were super glad to do the 1500m of decent away from there.


4 thoughts on “Things Michelle would hate …

  1. You can sub title this section, things my sister Sam would also hate! I am only willing to consider camping within close walking distance of a flushing toilet….digging a poo hole? No. Not ever!

  2. I just don’t know where to begin…
    It all sounds bloody awful! Fish bones, unfriendly locals, bunk bedded dorms: get yourself to a Hilton love and fly back first class!
    Seriously though, I know you’ll be having the most fantastic time and I’m full of admiration for you doing it (please don’t ask me to join you though!).
    Missing our lunches Fred; give my love to Dave and see you at the end of the month.
    Be safe, stay well xx

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